It has been several months since I became a full bachelor, that's because I went separate ways with my ex-girlfriend Alicia.
Alicia was a good girl. She's not perfect, but she took adequate care of me, and was a good companion during my darkest moments when my maternal grandmother first passed on. I met her in the year 2010, around December, and when my grandmother lay on her death bed at Tan Tock Seng Hospital, Alicia gave me supportive and encouraging words and she helped me cope through the difficult episode. I am indebted to her.
We went separate because I was diagnosed with mental illness, the psychiatrist had suggested that my condition was genetic in nature so it's not safe for us to have kids in case the faulty genes got passed down to our offsprings. On top of that, Alicia had a kid from a previous relationship, so we was already a single mother and had her own child to look after, I wasn't sure if I was ready to be a step father, so it just didn't work out for us.
So our romance lasted 14 years, on and off. We did kiss and hug, but we did not have sex and we practised celibacy and continence so that we respected each other's boundaries.
Alicia is four years younger than me, she was one of the best romantic matches I ever had because she was born in the year of the Ox, and as a Rooster myself I really liked girls who were of the Ox zodiac. My mother and only younger sister are also of the Ox zodiac, so if I had to marry somebody, I would marry Alicia. Unless you are telling me that there is a better match for me, otherwise Alicia is whom I wanted and whom I needed.
I always told myself, maybe one day if Alicia's kid becomes an adult and she is free to marry again, we might get together and I would be her husband at last.
I still love Alicia, a lot of it has to do with gratitude. I told myself that I'm not ready to get involved in another relationship again, so I'm not considering another romantic partner for the time being. It'd be too complicated if another girl gets involved with me, especially now that I am 44 years old, too old to have a younger offspring at my present age. It might even be more sensible for me to marry Alicia and become her kid's stepfather because "buy one get one free" wor. Somethings in life, better to leave it up to fate, and not force things. I still remember Alicia teaching me, "Let nature take its own course", I agree completely. So I'm just letting things flow normally, not holding too tightly, but also not giving up completely.
Life goes on.
