The first time I learned about the Theravada Sigalovada Sutta was in the year 2007 when I was doing my Basic Buddhism Course taught by lay teacher Brother Richard Vajiro Chia. The introductory Buddhist course was meant for laypeople like you and I, so the subject matter was very relevant to most of us attending the workshop. I still remember going "Wow" when I was oriented to the Buddha's ideal on having and being a true friend, and I counted my blessings that throughout my life I have been surrounded by good companions day in and day out.
As I studied the mindmap, I decided that not only do I want to be on the receiving end of Noble Companionship, I also wanted to be a good friend to the many people surrounding me.
My role as an only Son:
I resolved to support my parents and honour their Buddhist/Taoist/Confucian traditions and it doesn't matter whether do I receive much of an inheritance or not. I just wanted to be around for them especially when they were to fall sick and pass on.
My role as a friend of others:
I am thankful that I came through good schools and met good peers during my school days, and I made a point to practise metta and loving kindness towards myself and my friends. It was important that I am an encouraging peer, I made a point to say nice words and gave friends hope when it mattered most. I wasn't that rich so I don't have so much money to lend friends, but it gave me meaning to be upright and virtuous in dealing with my peers so that even if I cannot be of help towards them, at least I minimise the harm I caused my friends.
My role as a boyfriend:
Before I became a Buddhist, I was lustful and was a skirt chaser. After I decided to become a Buddhist, I kept my pen1s to myself and practised celibacy and continence so that I don't create sensual problems for myself and my female companions. I did not get married all these years, but for the past 15 years I have only one romantic interest and only one girl whom I loved. My love is not always reciprocated, but I'm ok with it as long as she is well and happy. I still remember buying her a golden necklace with my hardearned money and when she accepted my confession, it felt like the best thing to ever happen to me. I don't need her to love me in return, but I did love her and I hoped that my love for her was freeing and liberating instead of being a burden for her, that's my ideal and my wish.
My role as a student:
Throughout my school days I have been a good student, even though I didn't come from elite schools, I did master my teachers' subjects and attained excellent grades for my studies. I respected my teachers and often was an apple of their eye, I tried to keep a low profile though, and I got by all these years.
My role as a worker:
As I joined the workforce, I met good mentors who taught me how to be a good employee. I served them to my best of abilities and was given positive feedback whenever it was time for appraisals. These days I have quit the corporate life to become a self-employed part-timer. I work for my aunt and I do my best to complete my tasks properly though I am not a perfectionist. I am grateful that I have enough allowance and perks to get by with life.
My role as a follower:
My mother taught me ascetism because she has always lived a life of frugality and austerity, and it was through her that I first learned how to live a tough life. When I started exploring Buddhism, I was amazed by the degree of austerity that the monks could bear, and I respected them to my best of efforts. I performed dana whenever the chance avails, and to me the highest refuge is the Buddha and I still sought refuge under the Triple Gem.
The Sigalovada Sutta is not really profound in an absolute sense, but it's very practical and pragmatic, and to practise it requires devotion and diligence and I'm grateful to have come across this teaching. This post is not to show off or flaunt my insights, but to express my appreciation for a principled topic which has benefitted me all these years and it has offered me stability and discipline in my life.
References:
- Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sigālovāda_Sutta
- Access to Insight: https://accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/dn/dn.31.0.nara.html