Because I chose to be politically active, I have to be even more careful with my interpersonal relationships, and this commitment has made it even more difficult for me to find a suitable girlfriend given that I want my girlfriend to be at least a Buddhist, Taoist or Confucianist and to be agreeable with my centre right political views.
One of the biggest challenges I encountered all these years is almost definitely my perception of sexual intimacy. Even though I hate being a goodie two shoe, I am honest enough to suggest that in People's Action Party politics, there is no room for hanky panky as illustrated by Tan Chuanjin and Michael Palmer's fall from grace as Speakers of Parliament.
I'm not saying that we cannot have sex, quite on the contrary what we are demanding is that sexual intimacy if mismanaged can hurt feelings, so we have to be especially careful on how we deal with copulations.
For me, my last girlfriend lasted for around 14 years.We did not engage in unprotected sexual intercourse because we wanted to leave it till after marriage, but as per boy-girl heterosexual relationships we did caress and kissed.
For me, as a practising Buddhist I had to be even more careful because there were big words hovering over my head: fidelity, celibacy and continence. To me, these were important because I respected my own sexuality and I regarded my girlfriend as a partner instead of an object of lust. She was a good girlfriend, and till this day I still love her even though our romance waned and we went separate ways.
What is fidelity then? To me, fidelity means I have to keep my dick strictly for the woman I intend to marry and would marry.
What is celibacy then? Well, celibacy means that if I'm not married, I do not ejaculate into any vagina . There's no ifs, cannot means cannot.
What is continence then? Perhaps, loosely defined it doesn't mean that I totally do not ejaculate. Continence relates to how we handle our excrements in a biological sense. To be continent means that I still urinate, defecate and fart, but when I urinate and defecate I do it properly into the toilet bowl without creating a mess. I also fart, but I try not to be a nuisance and say sorry if I'm being loud. The other aspect of continence is how I deal with the semen in my body. Since I am not married, the bare minimum I expect of myself is to use a condom if I ever found mytin a crazy one night's stand situation. Use a condom, and as much as possible, ejaculate outside, not inside of the girls' bodies. Since I don't have a girlfriend right now after losing my previous girlfriend of 14 years, these days I do masterbate and properly dispose of my semenal discharges without making a mess of my room.
I know things can get better, but I'm not trying to be a politician, just trying to be a good layperson and simple follower. One day I might die, and before that day comes I try not to be too much of a nuisance to myself and to the world. I'm not perfect, I don't intend to be perfect, and I'm sorry to those who expected me to be superman because I'm not one. I'm just a mediocre person trying to make sense of this world.