Nothing to Show Off

Nobody came visiting yesterday on Chinese New Year Day 1. I thought everything is safe, but on Chinese New Year Day 2 my uncles and their families came visiting.

A little background: I was admitted to IMH a few years ago and was diagnosed with bipolar and now schizoaffective disorder. I have been unable to secure a full time job and so I freelanced as a part-time undertaker while also helping out with my family business. I don't have a stable income, no wife, no house, no children, no car, no credit card, no this, no that.

I am quite grateful that my visiting relatives gave me red packets i.e. angbaos. It's the only good thing about being single at 43 years old. I did my best to put up with their idle chatter, smiling and laughing whenever I could.

One of my toxic uncles asked me why don't I go to Germany and work as a toilet cleaner, they will pay me $3000 per month. The comment was so random, I didn't know how to react, so I laughed.

Actually I respect toilet cleaners a lot, it's literally a sh1t job which many people don't want to do. I still remember washing the toilet as a conscript at Tekong BMTC, it was tough. I am glad that these days you can earn quite a lot via Skillsfuture SG support going for reskilling as a toilet cleaner here in Singapore, so you don't need to go to Germany to work as a toilet cleaner to earn a decent income. I salute toilet cleaners.

Eventually my relatives left, and I felt relieved that the damage done was under control. I had successfully kept the show going despite having an income of only around $500 - $750 per month as a freelancer and part-timer. I find it quite sad that these days I have nothing to show off, but well, I did survive the Chinese New Year once again, and I am thankful.

I started work on a part-time project already, tomorrow I am going to resume my work and continue to earn some money to pay some bills.

Nothing to show off. Strange. I feel happier than those who have everything more than I do and they had to put in even more effort than me to convince me that they are richer than me. I kept my thoughts to myself, I was paid an ang bao by each relative to keep my mouth shut and listen to them boast, and I did my job, so I guess I had earned my angbaos after all.

Thank you for not giving me a hard time.